Getting Off the Hook: Denial and Resistance

“You barely just got off the hook!” Does this sound familiar? Some may hear it quite often some only occasionally. The theme of this chapter suggests that even though you may or may not have heard this sometime in your life you have done something that led to this conclusion.

This chapter primarily connects “getting off the hook” in a privileged way. You can get off the hook because you are more privileged than someone else or you merely can get off the hook by a comment or illusion that makes you seem innocent in a situation where you might not be. Denial is a key trait in a person who has done this. “There are no people with disabilities where I work, so that isn’t an issue here.” This quote along with others suggests that people are in denial with their surroundings to try to fit in with the norm. Of course someone is not going to say disability is an issue if they are confronted by it on a daily basis, this may not be the truth but this is the denial we are trying to prove. There are many acts of denial that people do intern to explain situations. Like in this quote a parent says to their kid, “Now, now, stop crying, it doesn’t hurt that much,” when in fact the adult doesn’t know just how much it hurts. Or like in this situation people but the blame on other people, “If blacks were smarter or worked harder or got an education, they’d be okay.” Both of these situations show how privileged people deny other people because of their incapability do something just so they could get off the hook and look better.

Why? Why all this resistance to the truth? You can’t ask everyone their opinion; you would have to interview everyone in the world, because everyone tries to get off the hook. If you did record most people in the act they might say the words, “I didn’t mean it.” This statement helps anyone get out of a sticky situation. Even if you mean it or not you’re already off the hook because the opposing person doesn’t question you any further, they just assume you’re telling the truth and are completely innocent.

I can’t lie I’ve found myself using this statement numerous times. Whether I meant it or not no one will ever actually know and that’s the beauty of it. No one likes to take the blame for a bad situation. No one likes to be out of the “social norm”. Everyone wants to fit in somehow in life. That’s why I think there will never be an end to “getting off the hook,” so just go with it and accept it!